How did time fly by so fast? So much has happened and everything seems like a big blur to me. When summer ended and the semester started, there was so much for me to look forward to. I guess when life is too perfect, it is never a good sign. Life always finds a way to ruin everything that was for once going well. You let people to close to you, trusting them, thinking that those close to you would fit what a perfect life is suppose to be like. Again, I was wrong. Do I choose the wrong people to be friends with? Is it me? What have I've done to deserve such bad friends? The worst part is, I am the one who gets hurt while the other person could care less.

Now the semester has finished, everyone will be home for winter break just like the summer. Maybe this time away will set things right, for those things that were meant to be. Until then, I am saying good-bye. Good-bye to the fall 2008 semester. The semester that I will always remember. Remember as the worst semester ever. When you feel like you lost so many things that were close to you, what is there to do? I've fallen, and now I need someone who I can trust to pick me up.

Been a long time since I have written here on xanga, don't even know who uses it anymore....

It has been a tough three months here at UMBC and life in general. Now the semester is winding down and it will soon be Christmas and a New Year. As I look back on these last three months of my life, I can see how much of myself I have lost. I am scared of the past, scared for the future. Wishing that many things did not happen the way they did, but I have no control over the past. Should I blame myself for everything that has happened these past three months? Nothing to me makes sense. If only I could know what everyone was thinking and why people change the way they change , life would make a lot more sense to me. I feel like I have been knocked down, and with no strength left in me, I cannot get up. I just can't. I am doing my best to save what is left of the semester, academic wise. Deep down, I put up a smile, but really behind the smile is someone who does not know how to be happy anymore. I hope in time things will get better, life will get better. I know those who care will always be there for me. I just have to keep telling myself that. Everything does happen for a reason and what's meant to be will find a way. Won't it? I hope so...

Now with only a couple days until my 20th birthday, there is nothing I want that money can buy. Money cannot buy happiness. Money cannot buy people you thought you could trust. I just have one wish....hopefully one day it will come true.